Tag Archives: women

The CAKE Comedy Tour

The CAKE Comedy Tour, featuring NYC-based comedians Carrie Gravenson (Caroline’s on Broadway), Abbi Crutchfield (truTV), Kaytlin Bailey (MTV, SiriusXM), and LA-based comedian Erin Judge (NBC’s Last Comic Standing), is teaming up with Kickstarter to pioneer a brand new way for indie tours to sell more tickets and reach more fans. We caught up with Kaytlin to discuss how this new approach to touring is changing the industry.

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JordanaPR’s “Holiday Pop Up Fete” at Millesime Lounge

For Immediate Release – Last week, Brandon & Jordana of Jordana PR celebrated the holidays by hosting a “Holiday Pop Up Fete” at the Millesime Lounge inside the Carlton Hotel in NYC. The event was a success with many guests who celebrated by shopping hot up & coming brands as well as VIP guest who flew in from Los Angeles: Stassi Schroeder of BRAVO’s Hit Series “Vanderpump Rules”.

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Sarah Silverman with Andy Borowitz at 92Y

By William Muse
Sarah Silverman is smart. Though she has made a career out of playing
ignorant, every word she utters seems very clearly thought out and rational.
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Minority Report – Comedy Edition

(Disclaimer: The author is a Jewish white male who has never auditioned for SNL)

As a judge tonight at the She-Devil Comedy Festival in Long Island City, I couldn’t help but reflect on the recent controversy created by SNL cast member Kenan Thompson regarding the lack of black women on the show, which to me was an extension of the “women aren’t funny” firestorm of a few years ago.
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Vulgar Old Woman at a Bar

A man walked into a bar, in this case that man was me and the bar was Kennedy’s on West 57th street. Don’t worry, it gets better. I’m killing time before I meet up with my wife who is doing yoga, so I head for Happy Hour. The bar at Kennedy’s is pretty much full, except for two spots near the front which appear to be free, but I wait for the bartender to take away the drinks before it’s official.

So I sit there with ESPN on in front of me and my hand dandy Samsung Galaxy 3 phone equipped with Amazon Kindle, which is equipped with the Steve Jobs book that I’ve been struggling through. I take it out and begin reading, not really minding anyone nearby. I do notice the older woman sitting next to me, drinking white wine and really pining for the bartender to give her that full undivided attention that she feels she so richly deserves. She also keeps looking around, and I know this from my many years of sitting alone at bars: people who are looking around are usually also looking for someone to pour their hearts out to. I’m really hoping it’s not me, but I have a feeling if I have more than 2 beers it will be.
old jewish woman

“Ya know what I think, I think men have their (genitals) on the outside because otherwise they’d never find them.”

Hmmm. Okay. That was a (richard) joke out of left field, not really a good one or even accurate (are men really the gender associated with not being able to find things?), but she put it out there and I’m the one who heard it. Clearly she’s setting a tone for the evening.

A few minutes later, this woman to my left is engaging the woman to my right, talking shop about her career when she blurts out this fine gem:

“You know, a lot of my friends keep saying I should try stand-up comedy.”

Steve Carrell GIF

Woah. May-day, May-day, you should so NOT be trying stand-up comedy and if you have people telling you that you SHOULD be, you need to find new people to hang out with who will not tell you that.

“Cuz you know, everything today is with the sh*t and the f@ck and who did I f@ck and oh my (kitty cat) is this and that, it’s such filth. You know men, they all travel together and just throw their (genitals) on the bar and hope for the best. But not you (taps me on the arm), you’re fine.”

roxbury guys

Well.. we’re clearly off and running now. Didn’t expect any of that, and now of course via the arm tap I have been not so subtly invited into this conversation.

“No, I know I’m fine, just here reading my book. But thanks for asking.”

“Oh I’m sorry to disturb you, you seem very nice. Did I mention the sh*t and the f@ck and oh my (kitty cat)?”

“I believe you did but I can’t verify that because I’m almost at the chapter before the chapter that leads to the chapter where Steve Jobs is thinking about inventing the iPhone.”

“Well you know I’m from the school of Lenny Bruce and Henny Youngman.”

“So you’re dead?” (I didn’t say that).

“And you know, I’m 70 years old….”

“You look good for 70.”

“Well, I’m not a bitch.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” (didn’t say that either)

“And I used to (type of bird/rhymes with follow). It’s good for you, all that protein, it’s like 2 glasses of wine.”

“Oh, pardon me ma’am, let me help you out, there’s my vomit all over your face.”

best-family-guy-gifs-vomit

So the conversation continues, and then the elderly version of Sarah Silverman calls her other friends over to discuss Anthony Weiner and the trials and tribulations of having inadequately sized Semitic genitalia. The chatter continues:

“Let me tell you about Anthony Weiner. Who gives a shit if he was texting people his (weiner)? Does Huma really care that he’s sending pictures of his (schmeckle) to other women? was he not breast feed? gimme a break. Let me tell you about how men operate, they’re so confused. They think the (Christian LITerature) is an elevator button. They press it and wanna know if you’re there yet.”

Well ladies and gentlemen, on second thought, it looks like we have an opener.  Don’t forget to tip your waitresses.

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Planet Witless

I’m not a gym rat per se, but I do frequent a gym and I do find the experience relaxing. My preferred gym is MySportsClub, which has branches in every major city that I’ve lived in, primarily New York and Boston. They give you a towel and they have the standard selection of equipment that one would want from a gym. The membership fee is decent ($70) and I haven’t found a reason to find another gym. They even have a funny marketing campaign that seems to adequately reflect current events. I bring this up because I read an article about Planet Fitness in the NY Times regarding their catering to people who absolutely don’t want to go to the gym and went as far to install ‘Lunk Alarms’ when certain individuals are too loud when they lift weights. The problem I have with this is…SUCK IT UP!

Lunk Alarm at Planet Fitness
Lunk Alarm at Planet Fitness

The first of these ‘no gymtimidation’ ads that caught my attention was the bodybuilder being given a tour of the gym. His only reaction is ‘I lift things up and put them down’ again, and again. Soon he is shown the door never to return. The guy’s name is Silvio Kersten and if you want to Google him, by all means go for it. My issue with this is – those ads are not accurate and don’t reflect a gym atmosphere. First off, the gym is primarily filled with people lifting things up and putting them down – so you can’t fault him on that. But there’s this weird mentality among people who don’t want to go to the gym because they’re out of shape or flabby or don’t have six packs – that anyone really cares about that. It’s not like you’re at a bar, where people DO care about that stuff. People who go to the gym tend to care about themselves and the attractive people who may or may not be stretching next to them. If you’re not one of those people, don’t worry about it – everyone will leave you alone. There has been ONE time in my many years of gym attendance, where I saw a morbidly obese woman in an outfit that was too tight for her on the exercise mat. Literally, Northern Manhattan was out of spandex because this woman was wearing all of it. I looked at her, and I thought ‘wow, she’s here which means everyone else has no excuse.’ Furthermore, she was able to go about her business and no one said a thing.

give me 10 more...
give me 10 more…

The other advertisement I saw was with 3 svelte ‘valley’ girls in the locker room being ditsy. My first thought: ‘porno?’ oh no, it’s just 3 women being ditsy to show that that’s how women act in locker rooms. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure they don’t act that way. Maybe they do in high school – actually I’m sure they do in high school – but this isn’t high school, it’s a gym you pay for and that type of stuff doesn’t happen. Or maybe it does and I’m just missing out.

girls just wanna get dressed
girls just wanna get dressed

Planet Fitness is trying to appeal to those people who don’t like the gym atmosphere and don’t have time to exercise. First of all, everyone has time to exercise, they just don’t use it to exercise because it’s not a priority. People tend to find the time to do things they want to do. It’s just human nature. I understand that if you’re raising small children they will become a priority, but a lot of the people I know who detest the gym don’t have children, and therefore don’t have an excuse. My issue is that Planet Fitness is perpetuating a gym stereotype, and it’s just not true. People don’t act like that in a gym setting. Is there grunting? Sure there is, not a lot – but every now and then someone will lift a heavy weight and they’ll grunt. It’s how the human body works. Just ask Olympic shot putters. If that offends you, buy a better pair of headphones, or better yet, get over it. You’re not that special and neither is the guy grunting.

Follow me @adamullian

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